_*Warning: Major spoilers ahead_*

After the accident, Lois and Hal are taken to the ER. While Hal is thankfully fine (though still slightly dosed up from his drug trip), Lois has broken her leg. While she’s instructed to go home and rest, that’s not going to happen – she’s pumped up on adrenaline and needs to make the party perfect for that evening.

At the house, Francis is helping Kelly get dressed in a suit for the party, and they share their fears about what Reese is planning in their sibling war. Francis says it’s pointless worrying, because Reese is a tornado and he’ll do what he wants.

At the venue, Lois is talking to the party planner (Stranger Things’ Finn Wolfhard). Lois wants to do everything. Hal offers to help and apologises for putting pressure on her with all his gifts. She thinks he’s still high, but he says he’s just more perceptive now after his “ego death” trip.

The party kicks off, and a nervous Malcolm arrives alongside Tristan and Leah. They run into Reese, but he’s trying to avoid Hal and Lois too, fearing a confrontation.

Among the guests are Malcolm’s old friends and fellow Krelboynes Lloyd, Dabney and Kevin. They’re surprised he has a child and share that “they’ve created their own” with genetic-tech resources. Their teenager is acting strangely, playing by himself in the corner.

When Malcolm spots Lois fiddling with a malfunctioning lamp, they decide to swerve her to go and see Stevie instead. Stevie’s mum and dad are locked in a bitter argument, having divorced some time back. Stevie’s husband tells the group to run.

Dewey, unable to attend, is being carried around the party via a laptop. Jamie has snuck off from the coast guard base to be there, and all the siblings mock Malcolm for his attempts to avoid them. Dewey offers to tell Leah all the horrible things he’s ever done, but before he can Lois comes up to them with another crisis. She softens immediately when Leah hugs her and calls her grandma, happy she finally has someone in the family who’s a hugger. With Lois distracted, Malcolm uses the opportunity to once again disappear.

Francis’s old army school pals are also there and are already super drunk. They have a sack containing the head of a statue, having pulled off another prank for old times’ sake. Francis realises that the guys cut the head off a St Agnes statue from the church, and they realise they’re in trouble.

Hal is telling his singer pals about the transcendent experience of his drug trip, but they’re not buying it, knowing he spent a large amount of it rolling around on the floor naked.

Kelly is surprised by Reese, who appears from a balloon arch, and warns him that his revenge is unjustified. He agrees to a ceasefire until the end of the party.

Leah and Jason from school are still texting, but he begins to get inappropriate, culminating in asking to see her boobs. The comment grosses her out and she says no, but he pushes further and she realises he’s actually a creep.

As the Krelboynes tear up the dancefloor, Malcolm is hiding in the bathroom, but Lois knows where to find him, and demands they talk. During their talk, Lois’ old co-worker Craig rushes in with a bad stomach, having eaten “something with a tail on it.” Despite his violent movement, Lois and Malcolm continue.

Malcolm bursts, saying the family drives each other nuts, and he likes himself better when he’s not around them, as he feels bad for who he is when they’re together. He knows he’s a disappointment to his parents, because she had giant expectations of him becoming president that he could never live up to. The comments shock Lois, who tells him it was just a plan for him to become president, not a contract. You make new plans if the ones you have don’t work out.

But this only enrages Malcolm further, saying it means they’ve been lying to him all this time, screaming so loudly you can hear it over the music. He says that the amount of pressure he felt from her has turned him neurotic.

She says she just didn’t want him to become a dropout and end up in a homeless shelter, but he’s accomplished a lot and it was all him. He’s a good father and a good man – better than they hoped. She’s sorry he’s so upset with her, but she misses him. He admits he misses her too and they hug.

Lois says she adores Leah and approves of Tristan. He says that he doesn’t need it, but he loves her – almost as much as Lois loves Hal. They hug and go into the party. Reese has been hiding the entire time in the adjacent stall, and stumbles out gasping for air.

He immediately runs into Hal, with the rest of the siblings there ready for the confrontation.

Reese says he knows he should apologise but won’t. He says he’s always sorry, but knows he crossed a line this time. It’s weird because by spending time with his father for these stunts, he was faking the relationship he always wanted.

Hal says it’s a heartfelt apology but it’s also an unacceptable one. Reese has relied on him being there to bail him out and love him unconditionally – and he does. But he’s come to recognise all his are children self-absorbed and destructive, and that makes him feel great, because no matter how many slices they take from his cake, he never runs out. His love for them at this point is an act of heroism.

With that, he walks off in victory.

Lois takes to the stage with a speech to celebrate her marriage – and declares the party is exactly as she wants it. Because she’s making the night all about Hal.

She reveals a video she’s secretly been making, with all the kids and Hal’s friends celebrating everything they love about him. Dewey says one conversation with his dad makes him feel like home, and plays a song over everyone else’s comments.

Reese credits Hal for unflinching optimism, his poker group celebrates his courage and enthusiasm. Kelly shares about coming out and his support for them about it.

But Malcolm’s clip is notably unsentimental, shot quickly walking through his office on his phone while eating a donut – and it’s noticeable to everyone.

Lois shares a heartfelt speech about how he is her “wish come true”, and the entire crowd is in tears as they cheer them on. Hal says no one has ever done something about that for him before.

Malcolm, embarrassed, takes the stage and makes a heartfelt apology for his lack of involvement in the family, and the video, and thanks Hal for everything he did. He says that Hal once told him love is brave and uses that motivation to propose to Tristan. She says no.

Tristan notes they’ve both been keeping secrets from each other, and they need to figure that out before the next steps. When she happily declares they’ll still have sex later, the crowd cheers.

The rest of the party goes well – with Lois and Hal making out in the corner like teenagers. Lois encourages Leah to talk to “the little weirdo in the corner” – the Krelboynes’ genetic “son” who is very robotic. She does as she’s told, and they both admit they’re lonely. Kelly then joins too, and now with a group, Leah asks for their advice.

Hal arranges for a dance with Lois to Eternal Flame – with one last surprise for his wife. Francis is tasked with a glitter drop, but the zipper gets stuck. Soon the entire bag falls, crushing Hal and filling the hall with glitter. People can’t breathe and run for cover, causing chaos. Hal emerges completely coated in glitter and asks if Lois likes it.

At the end of the party, with all the guests having fled, the entire family sits together processing the night, covered head-to-toe in glitter. The brothers soon argue about what went wrong, but Malcolm learns to accept it.

Leah, under Kelly’s advice, screenshots the text conversation with Jason and sends it to his parents and every girl in school. Leah tells the camera she loves being part of the family, because she feels normal in comparison.

While both Leah and Malcolm share their worries about the other, they both tell the camera that they’ll work it out – catching each other breaking the fourth wall just as the screen goes to black.