2012 Certificate: 18


Comedian Ross Noble makes his big screen debut as a malevolent clown who comes back from the dead six years on to hunt down and ingeniously slay the spiteful brats whose party pranks led to his demise. Only birthday boy Tommy (Tommy Knight), now a sensitive 16-year-old, realises that the vengeful children's entertainer is back... but his unpleasant teenage pals don't believe him. Dead Meat director Conor McMahon piles on the gore in an enjoyable comedy horror that gives the function of intestines a new twist but won't exactly have cat lovers purring with pleasure.


  • Conor McMahon


  • Ross Noble

  • Tommy Knight

  • Gemma-Leah Devereux

  • Eoghan McQuinn


Coulrophobia sufferers will be on extra medication if they make the mistake of catching genial Geordie comedian Ross Noble's amusing debut as a seedy children's entertainer.

He's Richard "Stitches" Grindle, a world-weary fixture at kid's parties where he makes it quite plain that he despises both clowning around - and nippers - but soldiers on regardless. "You're not my dad," some vile brat pipes up. "I might be..." Stitches replies.

At one birthday bash for a young boy, the rebellious sprogs take delight in ruining his tricks and tie his shoe-laces together, resulting in him fatally toppling onto an open dishwasher and impaling his head on a kitchen knife.

Six years later the same boy - Tommy (Doctor Who's Knight) - is celebrating his sixteenth birthday while his mum is away and the same malicious kids that attended the original party turn up, hoping for strong booze and perhaps even a leg over.

From beyond the grave, a re-animated Stitches also gets a wind-assisted invite, rises up from his plot and shuffles along with old scores to settle and murder on his mind.

There's nothing subtle about the flesh-tearing action on offer - Stitches graphically opens one fat kids' head with a tin-opener and then uses an ice-cream scoop to ladle out helpings of his brain, lobs a comedy brolly through one impertinent hussy's eye socket and uses the colon of another tormentor for a balloon-twisting game.

Yet Noble invests Stitches with genuine comedy value, delivering some neat if tasteless quips as he inventively despatches yet one more obnoxious teen with an gorily slapstick flourish.

Strong stomachs are required...but there are plenty of belly laughs along the way.