Bullet-DI
2014 Running time: 87 Certificate: 15 Not yet rated
Bullet-KA

Synopsis

Danny Trejo plays Frank 'Bullet' Marasco, a no-nonsense Los Angeles undercover cop and sometime cage fighter who gets embroiled in a fight to the death with a vicious cartel. Psycho-mobster Carlito Kane (Breaking Bad's Jonathan Banks) wants his crimmo son sprung from death row... and kidnaps Frank's grandson to blackmail him into taking the rap. Badass action from the former San Quentin inmate and Hollywood's most wizened hardman.

Director

  • Nick Lyon

Cast

  • Danny Trejo

  • Torsten Voges

  • Jonathan Banks

  • Eve Mauro

  • Seri DeYoung

Review

For Danny Trejo the ass-kicking character of Bullet is less hard-nosed and more dum-dum.

He's already got his work cut out as his pickled walnut boat-race, creaky gait and ill-advised ponytail mean he's LA's least convincing undercover cop.

But director Nick Lyon sees Trejo's Bullet as some sort of latino Dirty Harry, a morally-propelled enforcer who's not above a few dodgy tricks as long as those on the receiving end deserve a bit of rough justice.

Bullet is rightfully proud of a sting years back which put vicious hoodlum Manual Kane (Etebari) on Death Row after the junior mobster took out a couple of cops during his arrest.

However, the thug's even-more-thuggish dad Carlito (Breaking Bad's Banks) wants his psychotic nipper sprung from the Big House...and hits on the idea of persuading Bullet into taking the rap by kidnapping his grandson.

If we're going to be brutally honest (and everybody else here is), Trejo - despite his headliners in the Machete series - is not a leading man. But that doesn't mean there isn't some dubious fun to be had.

Carlito employs a Teutonic nutjob (Torsten Voges) who is obviously drawn from Alexander Godunov's German henchman Karl in Die Hard...but comes across as an un-coordinated Peter Crouch clone, while a winsome French attorney appears to have had language lessons from Peter Sellers.

Trejo fires off risque one-liners (after despatching the Gallic lawyer with a shot to the chest he quips "We're in America ... speak Mexican, bitch!") almost a fast as his considerable arsenal spits bullets.

Fans of the crinkly crusader will know exactly what to expect.