Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson) in Johnny English Reborn
"I may not know much about golf Tucker, but I know how to hold the bat."
For: Her Majesty, of course.
Against An international cabal of assassins known as Vortex.
Infernal plan: To cause global chaos by knocking off the Chinese premier.
Skills English's incompetence is so complete it can boggle the most fiendish of criminal minds.
Mission accomplished? Anyone this useless can't possibly fail.