7:11am UK, Saturday May 03, 2008

A former psychiatric patient accused of stalking Uma Thurman has said he never meant to frighten the Hollywood star.

Uma Thurman gave evidence

Jack Jordan told a jury at the Manhattan Supreme Court he "was not trying to scare her" and described his actions as a "clumsy and poor way of expressing my emotions for her".

Jordan, 37, had a fantasy that the Kill Bill star was "pre-destined" to be with him and that she would only be happy if they were together, the court heard.

He also told Thurman's parents that he would kill himself unless he could see her and turned up at the New York home she shares with her two young children between early 2005 and shortly before his arrest in October last year.

Earlier in the week, the actress held up a card Jordan sent her which showed a drawing of an open grave, a headstone and a man standing on the edge of a razor blade.

Jordan explained to the jury: "I felt I was walking on the razor's edge. I felt that it reflected this relationship that I unfortunately imagined that we had.

"This cartoon was meant to amuse her, to endear me to her."

He said he could now see how it would have scared her and added that telling her family he would kill himself if he could not meet her "was a clumsy and poor way of expressing my emotions for her".

"I wasn't feeling suicidal, but I was expressing a depth of feeling that was very distressing," he said.

"In a misguided way I was trying to give her an opportunity to meet me and give myself an opportunity to meet her.

"I was feeling distressed. I had this feeling of longing for Ms Thurman and I was trying to explain it. I was not trying to scare her in any way."

Jordan, who lives with his parents in Gaithersburg, Maryland, said he was "humiliated" by the trial and the fact that his private affections for the Oscar-nominated Pulp Fiction actress had become so public.

He denies stalking and aggravated harassment.