Shazza's Madge Rant

Sharon OsbourneSharon Osborne has torn shreds off Madonna in a tirade about the pop star's ever-changing wardrobe.

In her trademark restrained style she told Word magazine:

"One day you're in f***ing gun gear, then you're in horsing gear, then you dress like a f***ing dyke, then you dress like a hooker, then you're in a flowery dress reading kids' poetry looking like a f***ing librarian - then you're back looking like a hooker again.

"For f***'s sake, who are you? At that age you should know who you are, what bloody religion you are and what you represent.

"You can't be all things to everyone and true to yourself. I don't care who you are. You can't one day be in Horse And Hound and the next in Dyke Weekly."

MadonnaSharon, recently voted Most Popular Expert at the National TV Awards, just can't help seeing red when it comes to Madge's eclectic antics.

From her controversial kiss with Britney Spears on MTV to her children's author persona and stories of strict parenting, it seems Sharon's just had a gutful:

"... writing those painful silly books and reading them to your kids! If my mum came to me with a book like that I'd say, 'F***ing stick it up your a***' F***ing English Roses - b******s."

Crikey!

But Mrs O had more to talk about than Madonna's penchant for country tweeds and leotards.

On spending £3million on plastic surgery, she explained:

"People react to me differently now. Before I would have doors slammed in my face, 'Hmph, fat cow!' Unfortunate, but true. I just wanted to fit in. Now I'm confident. If you're confident, it draws people to you."